OLD MAN NOISES (OL' MAN RIVER)

Here's one for the evergreen stack!

OLD MAN NOISES (Ol’ Man River)
(male chorus)


Singer 1:

THERE IS A TIME AND WE ALL MUST FACE IT--

Singer 2:

THERE IS A TIME WE’RE NO LONGER YOUNG,

Singer 3:

LIFE IS A LADDER, LET’S ALL EMBRACE IT—

AS WE’RE APPROACHING THE FINAL RUNG.



Singer 1:

AGING HAS ITS SHARE OF TREATS,

DISCOUNTS ON OUR MEALS AND OUR MOVIE SEATS.

Singer 2:

LIFE MOVES ON, IN FITS AND STARTS,

BUT MOVING COMES WITH COUGHING

AND SNORTS AND FAAAAAAARTS…



Singer 3:

OLD MAN NOISES, (Singers 1 & 2 grunt)

THOSE OLD MAN NOISES, (Singers 1 & 2 cough)

WE CAN’T CONTROL ‘EM,

WE GOT NO CHOICES!

WE JUST KEEP GROANIN’

JUST GRUNT AND GROANIN’ ALONG.



Singer 1:

WE MAKE ‘EM STANDIN’

Singer 2:

WE MAKE ‘EM SITTIN’,

Singer 3:

WE MAKE ‘EM SLEEPIN’

Singer 1:

WE MAKE ‘EM SHITTIN’

All:

WE JUST CAN’T HELP IT,

WE KEEP ON GROANIN’ ALONG.















(Bridge)

Singer 2:

BURPING, SLURPING,

IT’S INSANE,

AND IT’S EVEN WORSE

IF WE HAVE STRESS OR PAIN!

UGH! MY HIP!

ACH! MY HEAD!

I’D MOAN A LITTLE MORE,

BUT IT’S TIME FOR BED.



Singer 3 (with ooohs, then ahs from 1 & 2))

YEARS FROM NOW,

WHEN WE’RE DEAD AND BURIED,

WE WON’T FIND PEACE

IN THE CEMETERY.

OUR

(All)

OLD MAN NOISES,

(All grunt)

THEY’LL JUST KEEP GROANIN’ ALONG!