Post by T on Mar 18, 2021 20:11:20 GMT
Hail to the Chief is played. Biden enters wearing a gas mask. (WW1 type would be great). He speaks but we can only hear smothered sounds. Secret service comes in and whispers in his ear. As SS whispers, his hand gently touches Biden’s arm. When he leaves Biden is subtly pulled so he is facing the direction the SS exited. Biden takes off his gas mask and starts to speak but is facing stage right (or left) in profile.
Biden
Well, folks, it was a long and difficult road. But we made it...
SS runs in and turns him to face front. As he faces front we see he has a mask on. SS takes off Biden’s mask and we see there is a third mask and SS takes that and the original gas mask offstage with him. When ever Biden speaks he should stutter on occasion. This should be done subtly. Not exaggerated.)
Biden-
We made it folks, that’s right. B, because of this dang Covid I had to stay away from people and you know how painful that is for me. That was the tradegy of this disease. For all of us. Not to have the contact of other humans. Hands on. I’m a hands on kinda guy. I like to shake hands, grab shoulders, give a little massage. Even with men. Women. Older women. Young women. Very young. So it was tough all last year. We all had to make sacrifices. I was stuck in the b,basement. Wearing masks. Even when I was sleeping. And during the election, the same routine every day.
Song- To the tune of Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root
They get me up and say wash my hands
They say, “Joe.” They tell you to run.
* B,b, I say, ready to run.
They pick me up but I’m still washing my hands.
They say, “Ok. Oh, lets have some fun.”
Yippee Kay yay, dum ditty dum.
Hey! Let me wash my own damn hands.
But they won’t let me, and I ask why
I tell them to go pound sand.
Sometimes you need to be a tough guy.
What did I just say?
Get out of my way
Heidee, heidee hay
Brush my teeth today
What did he just say?
Where’s my Special K?
Do I have visitors today?
Will they bring the Special K?
Bring me hot coffee put it in my hands.
They say “No, caffeine for you is done.”
B,b, I say, then bring me a bun.
Don’t lift me up cause I told you my hip hurts
My stomachs rumblin.
Get out of my way, I gotta run.
B,b, don’t tell the press what I just done.
Well, here is where I will make my stand
I mean it guys, hey is there pie?
Could someone point me to the can
Sometimes I sit in the basement on my cot and cry....
What did I just say?
Is there apple juice today
Fotee fotee-ay
Wash my hands ok?
Pass my bill this way
Russia’s gonna pay
Lets go out and play
Vote for me today.
I cut the rest but you get the idea.
*When you hear the song, you’ll know what the B,b stutter thing is about. Its sort of a ‘signature’ of the song and since Biden stutters on occasion I think it blends in somewhat naturally. Like I said in the opening paragraph, I don’t think he is viewed as a stutterer so it shouldn’t be exaggerated for comic effect. His poor wording and bizarre phrases, yes, absolutely, but not the stutter.
Biden
Well, folks, it was a long and difficult road. But we made it...
SS runs in and turns him to face front. As he faces front we see he has a mask on. SS takes off Biden’s mask and we see there is a third mask and SS takes that and the original gas mask offstage with him. When ever Biden speaks he should stutter on occasion. This should be done subtly. Not exaggerated.)
Biden-
We made it folks, that’s right. B, because of this dang Covid I had to stay away from people and you know how painful that is for me. That was the tradegy of this disease. For all of us. Not to have the contact of other humans. Hands on. I’m a hands on kinda guy. I like to shake hands, grab shoulders, give a little massage. Even with men. Women. Older women. Young women. Very young. So it was tough all last year. We all had to make sacrifices. I was stuck in the b,basement. Wearing masks. Even when I was sleeping. And during the election, the same routine every day.
Song- To the tune of Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root
They get me up and say wash my hands
They say, “Joe.” They tell you to run.
* B,b, I say, ready to run.
They pick me up but I’m still washing my hands.
They say, “Ok. Oh, lets have some fun.”
Yippee Kay yay, dum ditty dum.
Hey! Let me wash my own damn hands.
But they won’t let me, and I ask why
I tell them to go pound sand.
Sometimes you need to be a tough guy.
What did I just say?
Get out of my way
Heidee, heidee hay
Brush my teeth today
What did he just say?
Where’s my Special K?
Do I have visitors today?
Will they bring the Special K?
Bring me hot coffee put it in my hands.
They say “No, caffeine for you is done.”
B,b, I say, then bring me a bun.
Don’t lift me up cause I told you my hip hurts
My stomachs rumblin.
Get out of my way, I gotta run.
B,b, don’t tell the press what I just done.
Well, here is where I will make my stand
I mean it guys, hey is there pie?
Could someone point me to the can
Sometimes I sit in the basement on my cot and cry....
What did I just say?
Is there apple juice today
Fotee fotee-ay
Wash my hands ok?
Pass my bill this way
Russia’s gonna pay
Lets go out and play
Vote for me today.
I cut the rest but you get the idea.
*When you hear the song, you’ll know what the B,b stutter thing is about. Its sort of a ‘signature’ of the song and since Biden stutters on occasion I think it blends in somewhat naturally. Like I said in the opening paragraph, I don’t think he is viewed as a stutterer so it shouldn’t be exaggerated for comic effect. His poor wording and bizarre phrases, yes, absolutely, but not the stutter.